Title: Bridge to the False Ether


trembling toes marked black with soot,
cross the great bridge

The golden doors aren't in sight
but give off the sharp flash

the wide pathway streamed by souls
up down&around, heat finds no home

'tis a singular ray with a singular purpose,
salvation, with dedication

but the wispy fingers of time caress it's edges
and the black feet slowly print them selves in worn stone

and these prints crack the work of ancient architects
bringing these feet of flesh closer to darkness

'tis said that those that fall of the edge
have not yet found the bottom

the doors are closed, frosted by desperate hopes
and inside these doors, vines take their way

into the pores of the once impressive marble
and the halls echo, alone,

I want to give this another read when I'm not so tired, but it seemed pretty lonely and stark. I liked it. It was painting an interesting picture.

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dammit don't let it fall to the obscurity of the bottom pages of the lyrics section !!!:P

Don't get your knickers in a knot.

trembling toes marked black with soot,
cross the great bridge

The golden doors aren't in sight
but give off the sharp flash

the wide pathway streamed by souls
up down&around, heat finds no home

'tis a singular ray with a singular purpose,
salvation, with dedication --this was my favorite stanza

but the wispy fingers of time caress it's edges
and the black feet slowly print them selves in worn stone

these prints crack the work of ancient architects --omit "and"bringing these feet of flesh closer to darkness

'tis said that those that fall off the edge --supposed to be "off?" Just a typo.
have not yet found the bottom

the doors are closed, frosted by desperate hopes
and inside these doors, vines take their way --Should "take" be "make?"
into the pores of the once impressive marble
and the halls echo, alone, --I think you could omit "and" here, too. It adds to the starkness.

If I'm understanding it properly it's the trek to the elusive Heaven from a limbo-type place that's the bridge span. I think your usage of certain colors added to the depth because it showed darkness due to the golden tone at the beginning.

Pretty cool piece. I'd actually like to see more to this.

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yeah you pretty much found me out.
it is about people making the arudous journey to heaven all their leaves, and being afraid to stray the course of purity, and then.....
the disappointment in realization.

BUT in this it's just about the journey kind of.

Off should be there instead of 'of'
I like 'vines take' even if it isn't make just cause i like using the word take here. make might change the feel of the line.

thanks a lot for this
your posts are always great, especially to impatient scrooges